The best store in the world

I hate Topshop..its a bullshit place to work in. Most of the people there are nice but i just hate the place. What makes it even shittier is that the manager isn't that bright. They have this stupid saying that goes "I Love Topshop, How You Love? 1. Love your brand 2. Contribute" What the hell does that mean? Contribute? To what?

You get low pay for maximum work hours. Most times you go home late. Really late. And they try to make you feel better by saying, you've got to contribute. How does 'contributing' make me feel better? "Aww..missed the bus? Thats ok, the management would like to take the opportunity to thank you for your gracious contribution. Yeah right, thanks a lot asshole, i feel a lot better now, just let me sleep by the sidewalk since i missed the LAST bus." To make things worse, they have stupid rules such as if you punch in late by a minute, they'll slice 30 minutes off your salary. What the hell? So i'm late am I? Why don't you suck my ass dry and eat dirt.

Plus, i get the feeling that they think they're running the Pentagon." You can't be late!! Not even a minute...feeling dissy? what are you, a pussy? come on soldier, drop and give me twenty!!"
Oooo...Topshop, the best store in the universe? I'm sure everyone wants to know how Topshop runs..They're the best..their employees aren't even late...they're there right on time...
Late because of traffic? Just show the other motorists your topman/topshop tag, they'll move right out of the way..."better not stall them, they work in topshop, it's a very important place!! If they're late, what are the gay patrons going to do while waiting for them to open the store?"

So what happens when you leave work at 11.30 at night, waiting for the train to go home and you meet a stranger? Here's how the conversation might sound like:-

random dude : "its 11.30, just finished work?"

topshop dick : "yeah, we've all got to contribute..what do you work as?"

random dude : "I'm a surgeon, on call, thats why i work so late...how about you?"

topshop dick : "well, I work at TOPSHOP KLCC (says it with passion)"

random dude (who turns out to be a surgeon) : "topshop? you're kidding, I thought you're an astronaut..oh well"

topshop dick : "well I get that a lot...most people think I work at Astro.."