For a limited time only: Get your own personal satire writer.

There are so many things in the world today that piss me off. Some of them I have already mentioned here, while the rest are completely not worth my time at all. So I'd like to find out from you morons out there, what sucks in your life, so I can mock it. Post a comment, stating, in a very systematic, grammatically correct and straight-to-the-point manner, what sucks in life, so that I may bash it to dust. Please do not include any of the following:

1.) You like wearing women's undergarments (you're a bloke)
2.) You like wearing men's undergarments (you're a chick)
3.) You have wet dreams.
4.) You hate clowns or black people.
5.) You wish you had an iPhone.
6.) You wish you were Mick Jagger.
7.) You hate peas.
8.) You watch child pornography.
9.) You wish you had that new LV, Gucci or whatever shitty branded bag you just saw.
10.) You think you're going to get $1,000,000 for rioting like a retarded baboon.
11.) Anything else that sounds stupid when you're sober.

By the way, Sean Kingston is a fat cunt.